Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's 2010 People!!

I don't know why I didn't realize that a decade was ending. I wasn't even paying attention, I guess, but when I heard a dj on the radio say that our decade was ending, it kind of freaked me out!

What happened in the last decade? I can honestly say that for my part, a lot of mind blowing shit went down! And I still can't believe that it all happened and I have lived to tell about it. That's an accomplishment in itself!

So do you want to hear about what all happened in my life in the last 10 years?! Well, if you don't, then close out now and check in with me again tomorrow.

In 1999, I was working at a bank as an Assistant Vice President of Consumer Lending for First American Bank. I was living in a tiny two bedroom house that belonged to the ranch where my husband was raised. I became a member of a couple of great internet email groups; one about weight loss and one that I actually started about getting out of debt. I even started following Flylady that year. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, well just follow along!

In 2000, I continued doing what I was doing; being a mom, working at the Bank, searching for something that would make me happy in the life I'd chosen. This was the year I joined Mary Kay and began to learn about dreaming huge dreams, selling women makeup and opportunities, and all that entailed. I wish I could go back now and talk to that girl who was so full of herself! Man was I cocky (yes, I still am). Did it occur to me in that year that I was coming upon some of the biggest challenges of my life? Naw... life just doesn't work that way.

In 2001, I decided that I'd had enough of working in the Bank and that I could make my dreams come true as a Mary Kay director if I didn't have to work full-time for a paycheck. So I did what any otherwise sensible woman would do; quit my secure job with the title and corner office and started working toward my directorship. Trouble was, I didn't have nearly enough customers, let too many people tell me what to do and ended up doing all the wrong things and ruining my MK business. Dammit! All of that didn't happen in 2001, but I had the wrong foundation for a successful business, didn't have the confidence, customer base, or persistence to do what it took, and ended up in greater debt, in trouble with my husband, and without my cushy job.

In 2002, I started working part-time for one of my old customers who had a masonry supply business. He and his wife were great to me at the Bank, and I worked pretty well for them. I had to be at work at 7am and work til 5 on the days that I worked. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't at all what I was used to. It made my MK business suffer because I didn't get my lazy ass started on-time and couldn't consistently book appointments. Then D lost his job at the Ranch. I had 90 days to move the past 15 years of accumulated stuff to our little rent house in Caldwell. Actually it was bigger than the house we were living in at the time. Not any nicer, really, but at least it's ours. The move was a bitch. And the guy I was working for decided to sell the company to a couple of really nice, completely clueless guys.

In 2003, having moved to a new town but not actually knowing anyone, I was a mess. I tried to go to church in Caldwell, but never made any friends there and eventually gave up. I was still working part-time at the masonry supply place, trying to help my kids transition to their new lives, and dealing with a husband who had a complete nervous breakdown but refused to get any help. I quit working for the masonry place in June to try once again to get my MK business working, but it didn't get any better. By the fall I had gotten a new job as a banker for Bank One at their new location in College Station. The steady paycheck and good insurance was a relief. For a while I was happy.

In 2004, I got the great idea that I should transfer to a location in Round Rock. It was offered to me by the District mgr, a nice guy who really believed in my work. I had to buy a new car in order to drive the 4000+ miles/month that was my new commute. I gave everything I had to the new position, still not making a lot of money, but I really loved the location, the coworkers, the customers, and even the drive. Then D's parents got sick.

In 2005, it became apparent that D's stepdad needed to be put in a nursing home. He didn't want to go and it was a struggle for a few months, one that D never recovered from. The ordeal ended up completely exhausting D's mom, who got really sick in the late spring. We had gone from separating for a few weeks early in the spring to deciding to try and make our marriage work. We found some land in East Texas that we fell in love with. By the summer we'd bought the Grapeland place, then D's mom got really sick. Then there were the hurricanes. Then I had to come back closer to home because D had to stay with his mom on the weekends. She had lung cancer it was going to beat her. So I had to transfer back to College Station. Things didn't look very good.

In Feb 2006, we lost D's mom. I still miss her dearly. I had pushed D to go thru with building our house at the new place. It was Chisum's senior year in high school. I thought once D's mom was gone, he'd be ready to move on to the new life we'd planned. So when I found a bank that was hiring for a new manager, I jumped at the chance to interview. They didn't want me to be the manager, but felt I would be great at the asst manager position. It ended up being a bad decision on my part. In the course of the summer, I went through their extensive training, started working for them while living first in a travel trailer, then secretly in my unfinished home, then finally moving in just in time to get J registered for school over there. But D wouldn't move. He became a nightmare. The pressures of losing his mom and dealing with contractors were too much. He hated the homebuilder, put off the barn builder until the guy finally ran off with our $5000 deposit, and blamed every single wrong move on me. So I quit the bank job and came back home.

In late 2006, December to be exact, I started working for Farm Bureau. Mentally devastated by the past few years of changing jobs, changing plans, losing loved ones and trying to fix the living ones, I went to work on a business that I came to love but never fully figured out.

06,07, 08 and 09 were a continuation of all of the above. We lost D's stepdad. D got beat up badly by one of our neighbors over a property line. He wavered back and forth between telling everyone we were leaving and refusing to make a move. He doubted every decision he made. I doubted my love for him. I made terrible errors in judgement. He made more bad moves. We have been stuck in this cycle for longer than I can remember.

Sounds awful, doesn't it! But I have to say that I made some incredible friends along the way. I still have pretty much the same goals as I had when the decade began: lose weight, get out of debt, get control of my life, be successful in business. There have been many challenges and the outcome is still not clear.

This past year I found some wonderful new inspiration. Pioneer Woman. Jen Yates of Cakewrecks. Popcandy friends galore. Twitter friends like MadWhiteWoman and Melissa Francis. Real life friends like Lisa, Paula, Tricia, Carla, Kristen, Deenda, Amie; and then the life-long friends like my sister Caryl, Mom, Kevin and his new wife Jessie. And of course my boys, who have made this decade fun, joyful, and adventurous!

So the last decade was a decade of learning. College of Hard Knocks. 1001 ways Not to do the right thing. 2010 is the chance to turn all of that experience into the life and I want it to be! I'm excited for the new adventure!

And as a final note for today, I'm going to blog about my adventures along the way. Let's get it started!

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