Monday, August 10, 2009

A New Week, A New Me, Kind of

Monday mornings. They usually consist of me trying to get over my weekend so that I can show up to work and handle whatever the weekend brought for my customers. Since I have been relieved of that particular duty, it's now time to begin a new Monday routine.

Except, of course, those customers who have relied on me for the past 3 years don't realize that I'm no longer their agent yet, so two of them called my cell this morning. It was like someone kicked me in the gut all over again. Twice.

Please don't get the idea that this is the only job I've ever had. This is just the first time that I was not prepared with an explanation of where I went--more money, better opportunities, different location... no this time, I have nothing to say other than, "they let me go". "I was fired for not having enough life production".

Even my husband doesn't completely believe that this was the real reason I was let go. It doesn't seem to make sense. But all I can say is that this was the reason I was given.

I have a phone interview in the morning with a company that specializes in financing. My years as a lender and a banker will hopefully give me a good chance of getting the job. Right now, I just want to have somewhere to belong; and something to say when the next round of customers call.

In a few years, when this is all buried in my memory banks, I hope that I will look back at this time in my life and see that it was for the best. I know that I learned a lot working for this company that let me go. I also learned that I am responsible for paying attention to the Life Laws that Dr. Phil introduced many years ago:

You either Get it or You don't--when the old tales of agents being fired for not meeting their goals were told, I should've realized that they were a warning, not of how it used to be, but of how it could always be.

You create your own experience--if I'd have been self-preserving enough to see that the service work of the office just needed to go undone until I'd met my goals... regardless of who was out or what was screaming "Urgent", I might still have my job.

People do what Works--I did the service work, filled in for the secretaries, put myself last... because this has always worked for me in the past. Look what it got me!

You cannot change what you do not Acknowledge--I knew that I was floundering in my life sales. I knew that I wasn't making money doing the service work. I was too afraid of hurting my managers' feelings or the secretaries' feelings to stand up for myself and say what needed to be said. I just held it in, and it ended up drowning me.

Life Rewards Action--I could've stayed at that office til I got the work done--and did whatever it took to get the life apps I needed to stay on target. I could've done a lot of things differently. Now it's time to learn from these mistakes and move on.

There is no reality--only perception--I thought that as long as I was a good person, nothing would happen to me. Being good wasn't enough for the Company. My perception of a comfort zone or being safe has been shattered forever. It CAN happen to me--it can happen to anyone.

Life is managed; it is not Cured--Time to get my butt in gear and manage the things that matter. It's a constant process, a journey that requires movement in order to survive.

We teach People how to Treat Us--this one is so simple. I let those who could take advantage of my good nature and willingness to help, because I thought they'd protect me if the time came. Those same folks had no power! And now I don't have a job.

There is Power in Forgiveness--time to forgive and move on

You have to Name it before you can Claim it--I am going to have a successful life and career. Not with that Company. But I will. And when I have reached that place where I can, I will teach others to be strong and claim their own power too. We all have it, you know!

Gotta run.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Gut Shot, and other things...

Wow, I haven't been able to blog for awhile now. I'm so sorry that I wasn't paying attention!

Actually, I've been busy with work, being a mom, and trying to live thru the heatwave which has settled into Texas for what seems like forever.

Thursday morning, I lost my job. No warning, no warning signs--other than the white Dodge truck parked in front of the office when I got there. I didn't realize that it was our DM.

I was fired due to not meeting the company standards for life insurance sales.

Thursday I cried, bawled actually, almost all day. I immediately went to my mom's house and got online to start applying for jobs. I have a phone interview on Monday.

My husband has taken it remarkably well. It may have something to do with the fact that almost 7 years ago, he was the one who was fired from a job that he absolutely loved. So he gets it. Now I just have to replace my income before the inevitable fights over money start up again.

I felt like I'd been shot in the gut, which is a miserable place to be shot, apparently. A shot in the gut won't kill immediately; it's a slow bleeding process that is messy and I'd imagine hurts like Hell. It reminds me over and over again everytime I feel it--how my customers will wonder what I did wrong, how my name has been tarnished, how I wish I'd done a million different things differently on Thursday morning--and in the past 3 years.

But I'm not actually bleeding. I will heal from this--stronger,smarter, and more alert. I will fight to avoid becoming too cynical or negative about this. I am moving on.

In the meantime, I will urge you all to consider the following:

Life is uncertain. Life Insurance is really very important! Especially if you have a family that you love.

Don't get cocky or comfortable and think that you can't be replaced or eliminated. I thought I was immune because I went out of my way to work very hard to service not only my customers but everyone else's. Big mistake!!

And finally, if you don't do anything else this weekend or next week, PLEASE go see Julie and Julia!! It was the best movie I've ever seen, and for the entire movie, I was able to forget my own troubles and fall in love with the characters!! Made me want to learn to cook like Julia Childs; well maybe not that, but I will get her cookbook as soon as I have a reliable income!!

Kiss your kids.